“The cloud turns darker day by day”

We received this message with a poem. Please share it widely as much as you can. It is very hard to read, do not read on if you are already struggling but it needs to be seen by as many people as possible. 


“I wonder if you could share this poem with people on your website, it was written by my brother a short time before he took his own life. We found it scribbled in his note book and I know he would have liked people to see and read it. If you could get Amber Rudd to see it that would be good too. I’ve copied it word for word in this email below and you have my full consent to use it as you wish.
My brother was called John”.

This Man

I did not plan on living under a cloud
I was a man ever so proud,
I did not plan on living off the state
But due to my illness, it kept food on my plate,
I have yet again been refused PIP
By a man behind a desk who has never met me.

This is a man with no education in mental health
But is willing to give me a clean bill of health,
This man has no idea of day to day life
No this is left to the duties of my wife,
She is the one who sees how sick I am
But yet my destiny is left to this man.

The cloud turns darker day by day
Ever since this man said PIP is taken away,
More anxiety for months due to this man
Then 3 more people to judge if I can,
The way I’m made to fight for what’s right
Keeps me awake all through the night.

I wonder if this man behind his desk
Goes home at night and can never rest,
This man behind his desk has broken my soul
While trying to hit his departments goals,
This man behind his desk plays god all day long
While many like myself have to then prove he is wrong.

If there is one thing I’ve learned over the years
The man behind the desk won’t shed any tears,
The uncertainty of it all is grinding away
Making me feel I can’t fight another day,
I don’t hate the man behind his desk
Just wish he could see he’s made a bigger mess.

I long for the day when the system will be fixed
And people are not judged because they don’t walk on sticks,
If there was one thing that I could choose
It would be for this man to walk in my shoes,
For then this man might have a clue
On just how punishing his decisions are on me and you.


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