I tried to do more paid work this week, but failed. My Physio told me that my muscles on the back had seized up. This meant I had chronic pain after taking part in more employment. It was very frustrating, that I had to give up a chance to escape the Job Centre for good. Even more frustrating is wanting to do a job, but knowing again, that I simply am not able to do it. (there is a writer job going in one of the organisations who work with me) I simply don’t want to have to concede after all the struggles and pain that I will always be different and to mean nothing, i.e having to attend the Job Centre for the rest of my life. Job Centres are terrible terrible places for your soul.
I have been taking part in various conversations about Autism in Plymouth and Cornwall this week. Again change, and people not knowing enough about difficult and hard lives were highlighted and the fact that if you have a disability, it’s much harder to keep healthy and access work. The local library is shut for the next two weeks for refurbishment. As part of their celebration into Autism, I displayed my artwork and provided info about Autism. I put a friendly hand on the library’s staff shoulders as l left for work. I will miss my stronger friendships at the library, whilst it transforms to a whole new look. I’m probably a writer, but not in the traditional sense or in a way to become a millionaire.