“I had to go to a tribunal to get what I needed”

I am a Person Centered Counsellor and Cognitive Behaviour Therapist (cbt), practicing in work until my accident in 2009. I claimed ESA, I had to go to a tribunal to get what I needed (as the benefit letter says “this is the amount THE LAW says I need to live of”),  and eventually I got it. I was told about DLA, so I applied and didn’t get anything, until I took them to a tribunal and was awarded it.

When DLA changed to PIP I had to reapply once again. I had to take it to the tribunal. I was awarded PIP and went to yearly assessments, which I found very degrading and against my “Human rights”. I was awarded 2 years, but that isn’t true is it because they decided  to look at my award a year earlier! So in fact I was only awarded 1 year wasn’t I?  I sent my forms to them, after a lot of help from my family and carer, and waiting for the results is excruciating, it’s like sitting in the dentist 10 fold.

Recently there has been an advertisement offering people who were sexually abused when they were younger a voice. It’s called “The Truth Project”. This is when my anxiety kicked in. I thought I had buried the thoughts and feelings of when I was abused. This wasn’t the case, all my thoughts came to me in nightmares.  I started to have flash backs, I became a recluse and withdrawn from everyone, including my family and friends. I even started to avoid a male doctor, who I’ve been with for years. I have my face to face assessment again, at the end of this week.

I’ve written to the DWP asking for a paper assessment due to PTSD,  I was told its Atos decision so I wrote to them and I’m still waiting for a response…I have suicidal thoughts ever day since the TV advert was aired . I was in the woods the other day with my little dog and found myself looking at trees and how would I be able to throw a rope over the branch when I can hardly walk? Then thinking if I hang myself the distress I would cause the person who found my dead body…

Ex Counsellor

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