I can’t take any more. I’m so ill and PIP is destroying my life

I’m an autistic woman, have ADHD, sensory processing disorder, fibromyalgia, 3 bulging discs, degenerative damage to my spine, scoliosis, 8 fibroids, dyspraxia, double vision and restricted gaze to the right.
I have been disabled all my life but avoided applying for PIP all these years because I knew I would not be able to cope with the stress it would cause me.
Applying for PIP has made me suicidal with a plan. I was in mental hospital for 4 weeks, sectioned for a day and have been to A&E 18 separate times by ambulance that NHS 111 called for me.
Filling in the PIP form and having to state how disabled I am, and how badly it impacts me for every PIP activity has left me suicidal. I had never told anybody how bad things were and suddenly I was having to tell the DWP.
I’m autistic and cannot communicate with strangers because it causes me overwhelming distress. To try to avoid being assessed my PIP2 was extremely detailed, setting out in 52 additional pages all the reasons I cannot complete each activity safely, to an acceptable standard, repeatedly and in a reasonable time period. Yet the assessor did not read my PIP2 at all.
I had a home assessment. I was on my own because I didn’t have anybody to be with me. My assessor was a nurse from ATOS, completely clueless about any of my disabilities.
The first thing I told the assessor is that I’m autistic and cannot communicate with a stranger, and the reasons I cannot complete each activity safely, to an acceptable standard, repeatedly and in a reasonable time period are explained in extreme detail in my PIP2. Yet the assessor failed to make reasonable adjustments under the equality Act 2010 and told me she had to hear it from my mouth. Unknown to me she was forcing me to tell her verbally because she had not read my PIP2 at all.
The second thing I told the assessor is that I was in extreme pain and bedbound and was forced to get up to open the door or she would have failed my assessment and that I would be returning to bed as soon as she was gone. The assessor didn’t record this at all in the assessment report.
I was forced to explain all the reasons I cannot complete each activity safely, to an acceptable standard, repeatedly and in a reasonable time period. Yet the assessor did not record these reasons at all in the assessment. She did not record 95% of reasons I can’t do the activities.
The assessor does not mention in the assessment report at all that I am autistic, have ADHD and sensory processing disorder other that in the list of conditions she wrote “autism/ADHD”, therefore believing they are the same condition.
My autism, ADHD and sensory processing disorder severely impact on all the PIP Daily Living and Mobility activities, but the assessor did not record at all in the assessment report how they impact on the PIP activities.
The assessor did not at all read any of the medical letters I provided and makes no reference to them in the assessment report. Sher completely ignored the letter from my GP, explaining how my conditions impact on the PIP activities and contradicts my GP.
She completely misinterprets the letter from Moorfields Eye Hospital, which states I have  double vision and restricted gaze to the right, claiming my sight is normal.
What little the assessor recorded, she blatantly lied about my responses to her questions and what she observed.
The assessor asked me do I go to the corner shop. I replied no, I had never been. She recorded in the assessment report that I go to the corner shop.
The assessor asked me if nobody is available to go with me appointments on my own, will I go on my own. I replied I cannot go to appointments on my own safely, to an acceptable standard, repeatedly and in a reasonable time period.
I told the assessor I need someone with me on familiar journeys because due to autism, ADHD and sensory processing disorder I get lost going to familiar places most days.
Due to ADHD and sensory overload from autism I cross the road without looking every day so can’t go out on my own safely.
My senses get swamped and I get extremely distressed on public transport so need to be accompanied.
I’m suicidal with a plan and want to throw myself under a bus, so cannot go safely out on my own.
I have double vision and restricted gaze to the right so can’t see the cars and cross safely.
Yet the assessor didn’t at all record this in the assessment report.
The assessor lied I said I can go to appointments on my own because according to her I go to the corner shop I’ve never been to and can go to appointments on my own. She did not at all look at what I’m able to do at some point in the day on most days. She completely ignored what I’m able to do safely, to an acceptable standard, repeatedly and in a reasonable time period.
Appointments are just a few days a year, not most days. In fact I’ve been discharged from five hospitals for missing an appointment because I didn’t have anybody to go with me. My GP arranges patient transport to all appointments. I have a disabled Taxicard and a member of Dial-a-Ride, which are both door-to-door transport services for disabled people.
Despite having severe mobility problems and ticking on the form I can walk less than 20m and most days at some point in the day I cannot walk outdoors at all, the assessor did not carry out any physical examinations.
Despite not carrying out any physical any physical examinations, the assessor lied that she had carried them out and that the results were normal.
The assessor set a trap for me to walk up 4 flights of stairs when i was in excruciating pain with the aim of declaring I have no mobility problems. She pretended she needed to see the hoarding in my flat. the hoarding in so bad that I had the assessment in the communal hallway.
I walked in extreme pain, very slowly, with one hand on my back and the other hand on the banister. The assessor walked behind me and was forced to walk very slowly too. I have fibromyalgia and have severe fatigue. By the time I got to the top of the 4 flights of stairs I was on the verge of collapsing. I have asthma so was wheezing.
Yet in the assessment report the assessor blatantly lied she observed me walking up 4 flights of stairs with no pain or discomfort, at a normal pace and that I showed no breathing difficulties throughout the assessment.
Despite not walking up the stairs safely, yo an acceptable standard, or in a reasonable time period, and despite stairs not counting for Moving Around under case law [2016] UKUT 240 (AAC), the assessor decided walking up 4 flights of stairs is equivalent to 400m, so I am able to walk over 200m.
The assessor did not at all consider what I am able to walk most days, which is as some point in the day I cannot leave my home at all because of severe pain, extreme fatigue and feeling very unwell as a result of sensory overload from autism.
The assessor did not at all consider what I am able to walk safely, to an acceptable standard, repeatedly and in a reasonable time period.
 
I knew the PIP guidance states the assessor must give an overview of her findings at the end of the assessment, but the assessor refused to, in breach of the guidance. Obviously she refused as she had not at recorded the reasons I told her I’m unable to do each activity safely, to an acceptable standard, repeatedly and in a reasonable time period on most days at some point in the day.
 
The Decision Maker’s Guidance states the decision letter must list my disabilities but it does not list them at all.
 
The Decision Maker’s Guidance states the decision letter must be personalised at specific but it is a template that is not at all specific to me. My PIP decision letter was almost identical to my neighbour’s despite us having completely different disabilities. 
 
The Decision Maker’s Guidance states the decision letter must explain all the inconsistencies in the evidence, but there is no mention of a single inconsistency because the assessor did not at all read the 52 page PIP2 or the medical evidence.
 
I asked for the assessment report and was shocked at the blatant lies and the assessor’s complete failure to record the reasons I’m unable to do each activity safely, to an acceptable standard, repeatedly and in a reasonable time period on most days at some point in the day.

 
The Decision Maker’s Guidance states the PIP decision must explain all  the inconsistencies in the evidence so I asked the DWP to explain them. I’m autistic and can’t make phonecalls yet I was forced to repeatedly call the DWP to complain as they take a month to respond to emails. I had to ask for an explanation of the inconsistencies more than 15 times. Each time I waited up to a month, the reply refused to give any explanation. Obviously, the Decision Maker had not at read the 52 page PIP2 or the medical evidence so had no idea what the inconsistencies are.
The DWP completely refused to explain to provide an explanation of their decision which complies with the Decision Maker’s Guidance. The absolute maximum deadline for a Mandatory reconsideration is 13 months so the day the deadline expired I was left with no option but submit the reasons for a Mandatory Reconsideration without an explanation from the DWP of their decision.
The stress caused me to be suicidal with a plan. I was in mental hospital for 4 weeks, sectioned for a day and have been to A&E 18 separate times by ambulance that NHS 111 called for me.
For the Mandatory reconsideration I submitted a 200 page of the reasons the PIP decision was wrong with a very long list of errors of law, legislation and case law and guidance the decision does not comply with, and a total of 30 medical letters,
I thought the DWP can’t possibly keep the same decision with all the errors of law and  medical letters I had provided.
The DWP deliberately made me miss the on month deadline to appeal by emailing me the Mandatory Reconsideration notice 14 days after they wrote, leaving me only 14 days to appeal.
The DWP did not at all read the 200 page Mandatory Reconsideration or any of the 30 medical letters. They repeated the same as in the original decision and some reference to the assessor’s lies that go to the corner shop, can go to appointments on my own and can walk over 200m because walking up 4 flights of stairs is equivalent to 400m.
The DWP did not respond to a single error of law I asked them to reconsider. There is no mention of a single error of law in the Mandatory Reconsideration decision letter.
The DWP Mandatory Reconsideration completely contradicted the medical letters and did not refer to them at all.
I’m autistic and can’t make phone calls yet I was forced to repeatedly call the DWP to complain as they take a month to respond to my emails. The DWP agreed they would reconsider the Mandatory Reconsideration again as they had no responded to any of the errors of law I asked them to reconsider. However, the day the one month deadline to appeal ended I receive a letter stating that they would be reconsidering their decision. The DWP deliberately made me miss the deadline to appeal.
I kept ringing the DWP to complain and every time the DWP refused to respond to why they had not reconsidered any of the errors of law I asked them to reconsider and why there was no mention about any of the errors of law in the mandatory reconsideration notice. Every time they deliberately hang up. The DWP then told me they would not be responding to any further calls from me and would hang up.
I continued to ring and every time they refused to discuss their failure to respond to the errors of law and refused to give me any explanation of the inconsistencies in the evidence. The DWP refused  to explain their decision, stating they had already explained it despite refusing to provide any explanation, which I’ve been asking for a year and a half.
I have not yet registered my PIP appeal and have now received an ESA Work Capability assessment form. I’m in my early 40’s and have been signed off sick all my life and have never worked. The DWP are not at all complying with the 2016 guidance that ESA claimants in the support group with serious conditions that will never improve will not be reassessed.
I cannot cope with the stress. I’m autistic and ADHD and very much struggle to write. Due to my autism I can’t multitask and can’t fill in the ESA WCA form and appeal at the same time. I’m suicidal with a plan. I can’t take any more. I’m so ill and PIP is destroying my life.
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